Fertility - Starting again after a miscarriage

In August 2016 we suffered a miscarriage this affected every part of our lives. It kick started a downward spiral as we negated being grief stricken and heart broken. We just didn’t no how to communicate as a couple and generally did things that a grieving couple should have avoided.

My husband has been training to be an accountant for many years and had one more year till he qualified. We decided that he should just continue his studies and not take a break for himself. Although he carried on till the end it was a real struggle for us both to comfort each other as he had to study harder than he ever has. We also decided to start trying right away and we were no way ready to deal with the emotions that come with infertility. The constant negative tests and lack of cycles took a toll till we took the decision to take a break and concentrate on our mental health.

We are now in a better place my Bipolar is being treated with drugs and courses (currently waiting on therapy but that’s a complete mess of a rant about metal health services in the UK). Being medicated has changed me as a person and where I was unable to cry for a long time I can now show emotions more than I ever have and this has strangely helped to communicate my fears and worries to myself and Rich.

To get back into the place we were in 2016 before our miscarriage we need to make some changes in our diets and physical health as when dealing with the mental pain diet and exercise have gone out the window. Takeaways and junk food habits are hard to change so we are making very slow and small changes to loose the habits.

I am currently going back to the healthy plan I used back in 2015/16 and trying to increase my fruit and vegetable intake while weaning myself off sugar (serious sweet tooth caused by medication). I am hoping that summer hopefully on its way with the abundance of seasonal fruit and my favourite being berries are going to help. I want to get back into cooking meals from scratch and are looking for quick and simple meals to satisfy are hunger and takeaway cravings. One thing I did carry on is not drinking alcohol and caffeine (pretty proud of the caffeine as I have taken a liking to coffee recently)  

I am also back to taking my regular Vitamins of pre-natals and omega 3’s and so is Rich. Is there any other vitamins I should be taking? What time of the day do I take them?

I don’t no when or where this journey is going to end. I don’t no if we will succeed in becoming the family we crave however, we are more and more optimistic at the moment which is one step closer to mentally being in a good place.

Thanks for reading and baby dust to all xx

Our fertility story

 I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I have known since I was 16 however I was not diagnosed until I was 23.

PCOS is a very common condition that affects 1 in 10 women and is also a cause of my infertility. I have many other symptoms that effect my day to day life; these include facial hair, thinning hair, excessive weight gain and insulin resistance.

I have always been aware of my infertility as at my 1^st consultant appointment at 16 the Dr told me I would have great difficulty conceiving.  This came as a shock as I have always wanted to be a mum having grown up in a separated family.

When I met Richard in 2009 we started talking about the future and where life was going to go. This is where I mentioned to him my dream of having a family. Richard having been the youngest of 5 told me he would like to have a large family with lots of children running around to play football with.

We had not long been living together and not really thinking about starting a family yet when we  though that I might be pregnant. We took a test and it was the first of many negative tests we have taken. Seeing how disappointed we had been at the negative we talked about trying and we both wanted to start our family right away so we agreed to try without really trying.

I am unsure when just casually trying turned into tracking and really wondering why it was taking too long.  We got engaged and with that our time got taken up by wedding planning and, as we were still trying, we put not being pregnant down to the stress of wedding planning.

We got married in 2013. This is when we went back to talking about why we hadn’t had a baby. There were many trips to the Dr’s as I was not having any cycles and losing weight was becoming impossible. It didn’t matter what I tried I would lose a couple of LB’s on one week and put it on the next. This was the heaviest I had been ever and it was really starting to get to me.

It wasn’t until July 2015 that I broke down in a GP appointment with a locum Dr and after pleading with her she finally listened to me and referred me to the fertility clinic. This referral was immediately declined due to my BMI being too high. However, it did have some positives as in the letter that was sent back there were different suggestions for the Dr to try. 

Having not had a period in 2 years this was the top priority as not having a period increases the risks of things going wrong within the uterus. I was put on hormones to induce my periods and started Metformin. This diabetic drug regulates the insulin levels that in turn help with hormones. It was also suggested I be referred to an NHS weight management program to help with bringing the weight down.

Weight started going down pretty quickly after starting the Metformin, from the weight management referral to starting the 2-year course I had lost 4 kilos. It took taking the Metformin for 3 months for my cycles to start by themselves without hormones and a further couple of months to get a regular 33-day cycle.  The weight management course really teaches you the basics of feeding yourself, exercise and the emotional help you may need. We also got referred to an Endocrinologist to see if there was anything else I could do and after some questioning at this appointment the consultant wanted my husband to have a fertility test. We found out that, although my husband has a good amount of sperm and they are mostly fast enough, less than 10% are good enough to fertilize an egg.

It took losing 10 kilos and 10 months of taking Metformin to get pregnant which was a really surprise that I actually got pregnant naturally.

After having the miscarriage, we are still ever hopeful and if it happened once it may happen again. It took 7 years of fighting/trying to get pregnant fingers crossed it doesn’t take 7 years for a miracle again.

Just Kelly xxx