Tuesday, 18 November 2014

12 grumps of Christmas

I love Christmas it is the happiest time of year and my favorite time of year however, here is 12 things that turn me into Scrooge through the most festive time of year!! 

1) Secret Santas at work. You work with these people all year you talk and may even socailise however, why do I always the get fussy person. I dread it I put my hand in the bucket to pull out a name (my work do this in august mad huh?) the dread of getting that one person who only likes obscure things the hope of getting Sandra, who only ever wants her subscription of woman's own renewed and bam you get obscure employee that you only talk to onces a year to move out of the way of the photocopier. You search the internet and find a vintage something that everyone tells you he/she will love, you wrap it and give it over urging them to love it and those 5 words come out of there mouth "did you keep the receipt".

2) tropical shops. It's cold outside (or slightly chillier mild weather I live in the U.K) you have your hat, coat, scarf and gloves on and it's busy so why do shops insist on putting the heating on so high your wishing you brought your swimming costume!!! Your arms are full of gifts your in a long cue that seems to go on forever and all you can think of is the beads of sweat travelling down your back. Or if your were clever enough to take your coat off before you got in the cue it's so awkward with the purchases when you get to the check out all you can do is chuck it at the desk at a great force that you knock all the chocolate bars off the sides. 

3) the "it's to early" moaners. Yes October is probably too early to be putting your decs up and listening to Christmas songs and seeing the festive jumpers in primark but, please do not constantly complain about it!! I agree and I agree every year however can you stop telling me cause I am not going to magically stop it from happening earlier and earlier each year!! 

4) Christmas countdown apps. This is just plain and simple this countdown is the single most gut wrenching countdown it put fear into me arrrghhhhh it's only 36 days till I have to atempt to not kill my family by under cooking the turkey!!! 

5) Glitter. It's on everything! It finds it's way everywhere! And yet I can't not buy Christmas cards without it on!! 

6) Christmas cards. I love getting them I love it when I have sent them. I do not like sitting down and writing them! Trying to remember every one and always forgetting someone. I think every year I will keep this list so I don't have to do it from memory again nect year and bam I have lost it. 

7) hoards of Christmas cards. Every year I have too many and every year I tell my husband oh "I'll put these away for next year" and do I use them no! I just buy more to add to my ever growing collection!! 

8)  evelope tongue. We all get the film of a soap tasting glue on your tongue it's gross and has a lasting effect. Why don't they flavour it maybe mint or chocolate flavour?? 

9) Sellotape. I am a pretty laid back person but, I hate Sellotape. It only sticks in the wrong place other than where you want it. It bunches up and you try to straighten it and it rips the paper and sticks to you. And then you can't find the end cause it's stuck to it's self and you have to be some kind of Sellotape wizard to find it again!! 

10) being made to eat sprouts. It might just be my family but Christmas is the only time of year where these nasty little nucular gas producing beasts find there way onto my plate. Does anyone actually like them?? They taste as bad as the gas they produce and being an adult hiding them in my discarded crackers just isn't fooling anybody!  

11) do not eat!! We have a rule in our house no Christmas food before Christmas Eve and the house is full of goodies and your watching Christmas films and all you want is a mince pie and nooooo it's not Christmas yet!! 

12) Christmas Eve adverts. You have battled the shops, written hoards of cards, wrapped all your gifts, food shopping and food prep. Your sat down at 5/6pm and start eating your mince pies settled to watch a Christmas films and the adverts are all magazine subscriptions and January sales!! The last thing on my mind is more shopping. Yes I understand how advertising work however, can you just have some Christmas adverts or no adverts at all so I can keep this festive mood just a little longer before I'm made to forget it all!! 

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