Fertility - Starting again after a miscarriage

In August 2016 we suffered a miscarriage this affected every part of our lives. It kick started a downward spiral as we negated being grief stricken and heart broken. We just didn’t no how to communicate as a couple and generally did things that a grieving couple should have avoided.

My husband has been training to be an accountant for many years and had one more year till he qualified. We decided that he should just continue his studies and not take a break for himself. Although he carried on till the end it was a real struggle for us both to comfort each other as he had to study harder than he ever has. We also decided to start trying right away and we were no way ready to deal with the emotions that come with infertility. The constant negative tests and lack of cycles took a toll till we took the decision to take a break and concentrate on our mental health.

We are now in a better place my Bipolar is being treated with drugs and courses (currently waiting on therapy but that’s a complete mess of a rant about metal health services in the UK). Being medicated has changed me as a person and where I was unable to cry for a long time I can now show emotions more than I ever have and this has strangely helped to communicate my fears and worries to myself and Rich.

To get back into the place we were in 2016 before our miscarriage we need to make some changes in our diets and physical health as when dealing with the mental pain diet and exercise have gone out the window. Takeaways and junk food habits are hard to change so we are making very slow and small changes to loose the habits.

I am currently going back to the healthy plan I used back in 2015/16 and trying to increase my fruit and vegetable intake while weaning myself off sugar (serious sweet tooth caused by medication). I am hoping that summer hopefully on its way with the abundance of seasonal fruit and my favourite being berries are going to help. I want to get back into cooking meals from scratch and are looking for quick and simple meals to satisfy are hunger and takeaway cravings. One thing I did carry on is not drinking alcohol and caffeine (pretty proud of the caffeine as I have taken a liking to coffee recently)  

I am also back to taking my regular Vitamins of pre-natals and omega 3’s and so is Rich. Is there any other vitamins I should be taking? What time of the day do I take them?

I don’t no when or where this journey is going to end. I don’t no if we will succeed in becoming the family we crave however, we are more and more optimistic at the moment which is one step closer to mentally being in a good place.

Thanks for reading and baby dust to all xx

Life update and my diagnosis. (trigger warning)

Life Update

Where have I been? What have I been up to? Where did the last year go?

These are questions I have been asking myself recently and the answer is I do not no.

In the last 18 months I have been the lowest and highest I have ever been, I spent months in bed barely able to do my basic needs, I have put my family and friends through hell when I didn’t see a yesterday and tried to take my own life. I have had weeks when I have been flying so high making ridiculous plans that thankfully never happened and all the while spending money I don’t have. I am not the same person I once was and its scary.  

October last year I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder Type 2, and I am okay with that. It means I am finally able to get the help I have been needing for years. I understand myself more than I ever have and I am learning slowly to change habits that I have been using since I was a teenager.

I lost my job at the beginning of the year and for the 1^st time since I was 17 I have no routine and that’s weird. I need to find ways to spend each day without Youtube videos or Netflix taking over my life. When people ask me what are my hobbies are I usually rattle off reading, gaming and swimming however, I rarely do them. In all honesty I am at a bit of a crossroads in my life but none of the roads have a destination and I am going stir crazy with the 4 walls around me.

When I was 18 I had plans (those mainly were losing my virginity and dance till all hours) I wanted to be a nurse and find myself while travelling. Those plans disappeared. Did I disappear? Where did I go? What have I become?

I am currently 31 and I am having to start again like I am 18. I have no idea where this new road is going to take me and whether I will stick to it but if the last 18 months have taught me something it is that I am loved by a man who makes me happy, I have family that have a bit of understanding about me and friends who are always there to listen.

At the moment I am happy to be getting help and very confused about what is going to happen next. 

Thanks for reading xx

** I want to add the amazing service I have received in the past few months. The charity Mind have been so good with courses and a really good Bipolar group I just want to leave there website here in case anybody is in any need of there help. I have also added the Samaritans number and website just in case anyone is reading this in crisis and need someone to talk to. 

Mind - https://www.mind.org.uk/

Samaritans -   Call 116123 in the UK and ROI      https://www.samaritans.org/

Our Lazy Sunday Morning

Sundays are pretty simple in our house and we love our super lazy mornings. I love them because they are quiet, relaxing and a perfect time for me and my husband to just be quiet together. 

Sundays always start with a lie in whether we sleep in or just lie in bed together talking about the week and any general worries we might have.  This normally goes on until one of us (this is usually me) gets hungry. 

I woke up yesterday morning feeling fairly groggy (think I am getting a cold) so wanted something comforting for breakfast so we decided on Banana Porridge and a good old cup of tea.  

Here is the recipe I use, it's pretty simple and easily serves 2.

1 cup Oats
2 cups Milk
1 large banana (makes the porridge sweeter if they're riper)
Tsp Honey
Sprinkle of Cinnamon (to taste)
Hand full of dried fruit (optional)

I added the oats to a saucepan with the milk and on a medium low heat gently heated the porridge. When starting to thicken I added the banana, cinnamon and honey and heated until the bananas disintegrated a little and was the consistency you like it. I like mine served hot with some raisins, however we had ran out. I also tipped in a lot of cinnamon as the top fell off oops. 

While eating our breakfast we have recently got into the habit of watching Waking The Dead that we tape the night before on the Drama channel, however yesterday this was disrupted as when the Hamsters woke up we took this time to clean out their cages. 

We have two Syrian Hamsters (our fur babies) called Arnold and Maisie who are adorable and a little crazy at times (just like their human parents lol).

Maisie 

Arnold

. 

These two little cuties make Sundays all the better, even if it's putting on rubber gloves to clean up their poo. 

We love our Sundays and I believe we are a closer couple for it, just spending that bit of time being together makes all the difference. 

Thanks for reading.

Just Kelly xx 

October Favorites

Where did October go, wasn't it August just yesterday?

I haven't done a favourites post in a while so here we go. 

TV 

This month has not been the coldest start to Autumn, however I have embraced my pre-hibernation phase and have enjoyed lots of TV. 

While most people have been watching the new seasons of Stranger things etc I have been reliving my love of Big Bang Theory and have maybe watched (ok definitely watched) seasons 7,8 and most of 9. I remembered how much I loved the gang and cried again when Mrs Wolowitz died. I have also been obsessed with Strictly Come Dancing and have not only been watching the main Saturday night show but also the sister show It Takes Two for my nightly fix. 

I watch loads of YouTube however, one channel that has really stuck out is Rhiannon Ashley Vlogs shes been vlogging every other day in October and I watch her just before I go to sleep as I find her little family so relaxing and calm. 

Music

October was the month of singing Disney out loud in the house (not just me but hubby too) so I had to mention the Disney Hits playlist on Apple Music as it has the perfect mix of new and old to sing out loud while the houses either side do major house improvements and the drilling is driving me insane. 

Make up 

I have an addiction to Lipsticks, whether they are actually sticks or the liquid kind. This month I have been wearing the NYX Liquid Suede in the colour Sandstorm on most makeup days. It lasts all day even with eating and drinking.

The only other thing I have been wearing on my lips is an old original Carmex lip-salve. I forgot how good this was, my chapped lips are loving it. 

I have also loved dyeing my hair this month. In September I bleached the ends of my hair blonde, and this month I have dyed the ends bright pink. I used the Bleach London colour called "The Big Pink", it made my hair bright bright pink and I've loved it. When it fades after a few washes it goes a lovely rose gold. Having really thin and short hair I have been able to use the same bottle 3 times.  

Clothing and Accessories 

I love me a handbag and this year I have also jumped on the mustard band wagon (much to my husbands dismay, hes not letting me accessorize the whole house) with buying a mustard tote bag. This bag is the Molly zip tote bag, it has one big area which closes with a magnetic clasp and has a zipped pocket on the outside. I love that it has smaller straps and a detachable long strap. I have worn this bag constantly since I brought it in the beginning of October and I got 30% off which was a bonus. 

I also love me a cardigan and I have found my perfect over-sized chunky cardi. It's a brown boyfriend cardi from Primark and it's huge and warm and cozy. I have worn it every day in October, (my hubby even wore it one day waiting for the bus as he had forgotten to bring a hoodie and he didn't want to take it off.). If I haven't worn it out I have definitely worn it over my pj's at home (I am doing so now), its so warm!

With October over and November just starting I'm going to enjoy more cozy evenings with the hubby (he made me type that the cheeky over the shoulder reader hehe) and lots more hot chocolates and oh can we talk about Christmas yet?

Thanks for reading.

Just Kelly xxx

Our fertility story

 I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I have known since I was 16 however I was not diagnosed until I was 23.

PCOS is a very common condition that affects 1 in 10 women and is also a cause of my infertility. I have many other symptoms that effect my day to day life; these include facial hair, thinning hair, excessive weight gain and insulin resistance.

I have always been aware of my infertility as at my 1^st consultant appointment at 16 the Dr told me I would have great difficulty conceiving.  This came as a shock as I have always wanted to be a mum having grown up in a separated family.

When I met Richard in 2009 we started talking about the future and where life was going to go. This is where I mentioned to him my dream of having a family. Richard having been the youngest of 5 told me he would like to have a large family with lots of children running around to play football with.

We had not long been living together and not really thinking about starting a family yet when we  though that I might be pregnant. We took a test and it was the first of many negative tests we have taken. Seeing how disappointed we had been at the negative we talked about trying and we both wanted to start our family right away so we agreed to try without really trying.

I am unsure when just casually trying turned into tracking and really wondering why it was taking too long.  We got engaged and with that our time got taken up by wedding planning and, as we were still trying, we put not being pregnant down to the stress of wedding planning.

We got married in 2013. This is when we went back to talking about why we hadn’t had a baby. There were many trips to the Dr’s as I was not having any cycles and losing weight was becoming impossible. It didn’t matter what I tried I would lose a couple of LB’s on one week and put it on the next. This was the heaviest I had been ever and it was really starting to get to me.

It wasn’t until July 2015 that I broke down in a GP appointment with a locum Dr and after pleading with her she finally listened to me and referred me to the fertility clinic. This referral was immediately declined due to my BMI being too high. However, it did have some positives as in the letter that was sent back there were different suggestions for the Dr to try. 

Having not had a period in 2 years this was the top priority as not having a period increases the risks of things going wrong within the uterus. I was put on hormones to induce my periods and started Metformin. This diabetic drug regulates the insulin levels that in turn help with hormones. It was also suggested I be referred to an NHS weight management program to help with bringing the weight down.

Weight started going down pretty quickly after starting the Metformin, from the weight management referral to starting the 2-year course I had lost 4 kilos. It took taking the Metformin for 3 months for my cycles to start by themselves without hormones and a further couple of months to get a regular 33-day cycle.  The weight management course really teaches you the basics of feeding yourself, exercise and the emotional help you may need. We also got referred to an Endocrinologist to see if there was anything else I could do and after some questioning at this appointment the consultant wanted my husband to have a fertility test. We found out that, although my husband has a good amount of sperm and they are mostly fast enough, less than 10% are good enough to fertilize an egg.

It took losing 10 kilos and 10 months of taking Metformin to get pregnant which was a really surprise that I actually got pregnant naturally.

After having the miscarriage, we are still ever hopeful and if it happened once it may happen again. It took 7 years of fighting/trying to get pregnant fingers crossed it doesn’t take 7 years for a miracle again.

Just Kelly xxx 

Our sunny weekend together

This weekend was a rare weekend where my husband was 1 not working on a Saturday morning and 2 deciding to do less studying. The weather in the UK has been beautiful and sunny so spending the weekend inside doing housework was not going to happen.  

Saturday morning we packed up a picnic of treats and leftover pizza from the night before and set off  in a local small ferry across the Tamar to Mount Edgecombe in Cornwall. Here in the Westcountry we had lots of beautiful places to explore and this lovely country estate is perfect for picnics and relaxing in the sun. 

We set up our duvet cover (realized in the morning we do not own a picnic blanket) and while hubby did some studying I lounged in the sun reading and filling out my planner and new journal.  A lovely elderly man sat at a nearby bench and chatted to us while eating his sandwiches. He told us about how when he was younger this is where him and his sadly deceased wife used to take picnics. As we ate our lunch we listened to this weeks podcast of my dad wrote a porno (our new weekly obsession were currently catching up on the previous seasons). 

While over there we also explored the coastal walks and what the beautiful woodland estate hide. We  came across a secret garden and a country pub where we both enjoyed a beer before getting the ferry back home. 

With the year we have had taking a day/weekend to just reconnect is doing us the world of good. 

Hope everyone is enjoying the start of summer and have little trips planned. 

Just Kelly xxx   

May favourites

Pinch punch the 1st of the month! 

Happy June and the start of summer. (June is summer right?) 

May has been a good month it's the month of my birthday and I turned 31. The weather has been pretty good other than the week of my birthday where it pretty much rained all week. 

With the sun shining and the later nights my mood has improved and I have a list of things I would like to do this summer. My husband still has a few months left of his course but the end is near so we have decided to enjoy life and go on long walks and concentrate on being a couple again. 

Well this has been a long intro for my may favorites so here they are.

Since going on Metformin and Prenatals my hormones have been balancing and having monthly cycles has changed the condition of my hair and scalp. My hair has become thicker and a little stronger and my scalp has being more sensitive and itchy so I needed a shampoo that was gentle to my scalp and still protected my hair. I have been using Garnier the delicate soother for a couple of months and now my scalp is feeling less irritated and my hair is feeling clean and conditioned. 

My skin is also going through some changes due to hormones my usual sensitive oily skin has become combination skin with some very dry patches. Also now I get the dreaded pre-menstual acne around my mouth and on my chin. I have found Soap and Glory vitamin c facial wash completely cleanses my skin and removes dead skin. I'm also using simple toner (not sure if this does anything or I use it out of habit). I end my routine with Garnier moisture bomb day and night cream. This routine has made my skin cleaner, softer and generally feeling a bit better. 

My favourite candles this month have been three from Primark. I don't tend to burn many candles in summer, however we have burnt these most nights through May. These candles were only a pound each and the scents really dissipates throughout the room. My favourite scents are deep nectar and ginger flower, amberwood and rose and wild orchard and honey. All three are floral and fresh and make my house smell amazing. 

I hope everyone have had a good May and that June is going to be just as good. 

Just Kelly xxx 

Starting again.

It’s been almost 9 months since we had our miscarriage and it’s been a very numb, strange and emotional few months where both my husband and I have been playing this game of grieving.

Neither of us really knew how to comfort each other when both of us were hurting so much however, the silver lining of having a miscarriage is we are stronger than we ever could imagine.  I feel that we are coming through the other side of the black cloud that has surrounded our lives for the past 9 months.

We decided early on that we wanted to try again and I think we started to try before both of us were really ready to face the facts. We both have fertility issues.

I have Polycystic ovaries (PCOS) and my husband has fertility issues our statistics are not the best but we are both hopeful. We always knew about my PCOS but we only found out about my husband’s infertility just a month after the loss and we were not really in a good place emotionally to address it.

Now however, we are ready to start again. Back to the vitamins. Back to the eating fresh food and losing weight. Back to being us and not shadows going through the motions of living.

It’s never going to go away and I will never be the person I was before but I think I am ok with that as life is always ups and downs and it’s how we deal with the downs that make the good times great.

Just Kelly xx

Dear Jelly Bean (my miscarriage story)

On the 26th August 2016 I had a miscarriage. I am the 1 in 5. 

Dear Jelly Bean,

This is our story.

We tried for you for 5 years. You were loved before you were a twinkle in mine and your dads eye.

We found out about you on the Saturday 21st August 2015 and we were delighted. I must have looked at the line on the stick about a thousand times. You see me and your dad had seen a lot of negative tests and seeing the two lines was so unbelievable that your dad even walked to the local pharmacy and made me take the test again just to make sure.  

 Grandma was the 1st to know and wasn't she excited after tears and screeching down the phone wanting to shout to the whole world that you the little miracle were there. 

Your dads mum and dad were next to find out there reactions as loud and tearful as Grandma. My dad and step mum couldn't believe it and needed to see the test as I said your are a miracle. 

Sunday 22nd August I downloaded all the pregnancy apps and calculated that I was approximately 5 weeks and you would be due around the 20th April 2017. Excitedly we got the bus into the city center and dreamed about what prams, highchairs, cribs and clothes you would have. 

This day was the 1st day I recognized the symptoms I had been feeling for the last week were pregnancy symptoms. I nearly threw up in Starbucks at the smell of coffee and I have never looked at a tomato quite the same as I salivated and  wanted to eat one like an apple. 

Your dad and I walked hand and hand feeling the proudest we have ever felt you were our little secret that only a select few knew about.

Monday 23rd of August 2016 through a fog of nausea I worked and told the GP about you and she confirmed you would be an April baby. 

Wednesday 24th August 2016 I slept in to half 8 and had to run to the toilet for a wee (another pregnancy symptom) this is when the bleeding started a tiny amount at 1st but gradually heavier. 

My step mum took me to the Drs and came in with me. The Dr tried to reassure me and told me you were too small to show up on a scan and we would have to wait till the end of the week to see you. 

I'm sorry my mothering instincts told me your were going I really did want to believe you were going to stay with us. Your dad came home from work in a whirl wind of emotions and tears. We held each other and hoped it wasn't true. 

Thursday 25th August 2016 this was the day you left us. 

At 6am I went to the toilet you laid there on the tissue about the size of a blueberry I stared at you for a good 5 mins before I called for your dad to see you. The next few hours went by in a daze of tears, pacing and surprisingly cleaning. 

The Dr rang and confirmed you were gone at 10am and we were crushed. Your life flashed past my eyes 1st step, 1st word, 1st day at school, day trips to the seaside and graduating university. All three of us were robbed of a lifetime of happy memories. 

The days and weeks that have followed I have gone through a mass of emotions questioning whether I am a mum. Do I celebrate mothers day if I never held you or fed you. I may not of done these things but, I loved you every single second you were alive if not more. 

Your Nanny took you home with her and buried you in her garden you have a beautiful spot and your very own plaque and rose bush. You are so loved. 

Thursday 25th August 2016 is a day that will never be forgotten and you will never be forgotten. I will love you forever and even when/if we have more children you will always be my first. 

All my love. Always 

Mum xxx

What I ate Wednesday! (birthday edition)

Yesterday was my birthday and as a quick blog post thought I would write a quick post on what I ate while celebrating (disclosure I did not eat healthy and will be living off salad for the next month). 

Breakfast – A birthday tradition in our house is breakfast of your choice in bed while opening your gifts. I had toast with jam, hobnob biscuits and a very large cup of tea. 

Lunch – My brother brought me a Panini press for my birthday and sneakily my husband brought cheese and turkey ham so cheese and ham toasties it's was!! 

Afternoon tea – Sounds posher than it was my Grandma, Sister, Step Mum and Dad came round for coffee and chocolate cake the chocolate cake was super gooey and sickly my sweet toothed husband had two slices. 

Dinner – last night we went to wildwood the restaurant with my dad, step mum and little brother. The food was amazing and very filling. I had a mojito cocktail  it was very nice but very strong. Then for starters I ordered calamari with Cajun Mayo this was really well cooked and the Mayo had a lovely spicy kick. For mains I had a chicken burger with fries (me the picky eater gave my jalapeño and tomato to my husband). And then to the dessert and we all got sundaes mine was an Eton mess sundae and it was so decadent and rich I could only manage half. 

I had a lovely quiet birthday and today I am off to spend some of the vouchers and money I received. (And take shares out in kale 😜) 

Thanks for reading. 

Just Kelly xx

Birthday party

I am currently in bed suffering with the worst hangover I have had in a long time. My head is pounding, my tummy is churning and I am thirsty. I forgot what a real hangover felt like and I can't cope!! 

Last night however was amazing! My sister and I decorated the house in baby pink balloons and banners. My dad helped prepare the buffet and my amazing little brother and husband made a 6 layer rainbow cake. 

I felt so loved 14 of my closest friends and family all came and celebrated me turning the dreaded 30 (my actual birthday is on Wednesday) there was dancing, singing, rapping and an awful lot of cake. I had sparklers in my cake and we all toasted with apple sours and pink champagne. 

The night ended with a very very loud sing along to a cheesy hits playlist on Spotify. Also by the end of the night my  younger brother and sister were rapping to Macklemore downtown as our guests left the house for there taxis. All while our new neighbors were looking out there windows.

All I have done today is fill my dish washer, hoover confetti and cake from my dining room, eat far too much leftover buffet food (mainly sausage rolls and cheese straws) and watch Once Upon a Time and Doctor Who on Netflix. Please let this only last 1 day!!! 

Rich and I have the whole week together and have planned meals out and day trips to the seaside. Also I think Rich has a few surprises up his sleeve. 

However now I am going to bed to hopefully sleep off this hangover fingers crossed its gone by tomorrow!! 

Thanks for reading 

Just Kelly xx 

We Moved!!

As you can see by the title we moved!!

However, when I move again please remind me never to move during the months of February and March!!  The month of February is too short to pack and clean while decorating and cleaning the new house. Needless to say 3 weeks is not enough time!! Also as my husband is an aspiring accountant I will not see him very much in March as he will be working all the overtime seeing as its the end of the financial new year. So unpacking the boxes and settling into the new house has taken a while.

We have moved from a horrible dank and damp 1 bedroom flat to a 2 bedroom terrace house. We have gained two extra rooms, an extra bedroom (current junk room) and a dining room. Due to the old flat being a damp hole we have had to repurchase quite a lot and I have found out Dunelm Mill is a dangerous place!!

I'm hoping now I'm living in a more stable less damp house this is going to spur me on to feel a little better about myself and get back to doing things I love like writing and cooking.

On the subject of cooking I have started a new Instagram account called @tappertizers this has pictures of some of the new recipes and foods I am now cooking.

Below I will add some pictures of the home ware I have purchased recently.

Table and chairs from The Range

Salt and pepper shaker from Tiger

We got the kettle microwave and toaster from Dunelm Mill and is from the candy rose collection

Thanks for reading xx.

Life Update!! The year I'm turning 30!!!

Long time no Blog!!

 Last time I Blogged I was panicking about turning the big 3-0 and now its only 4 and a half months away and I have reached a calm about it.  

2016 is going to be the year of me I want to continue becoming healthier (17lb down yippeee) and fitter I want to start Aquafit and lots of walking. 

I have started a weight group called Weight Management its a NHS nurse led group where people who are in kind of the same boat go to weekly sessions and talk through and relearn ways to become healthier. Not just nurses telling you what to eat and what not to eat but, going through the reasons for overeating and slowly making you rethink how food works. I am on my 2nd session and already met others in the group and it seems its going to be a positive experience. 

I'm not going to be writing big massive life goals this year I'm going to write small weekly and monthly goals/challenges that by the end of the year will end up being very positive.

Goals for January are...

1) By the end of January walk half way to and back from work 4 times a week.

2) Loose at least 4lb and attend all weight management meetings.

3) Try 2 new recipes.

4) Blog more. 

Hopefully making small changes every month is going to make me healthier and happier. 

Well thanks for reading me waffling on.

Days that make you feel useless!!!

Everyone has them. Everyone doesn’t want them. However the nasty horrible thoughts wander into your brain and take over every thought and action you make.  How can I get myself out of my Wednesday grump??

I have so much housework to be getting on with (my house is a bombsite) and all I have managed to do is put one load of washing into my washing machine and procrastinated on the internet watching holiday Vlogs.

 I know why I’m in a grump I stupidly read my Timehop this morning and remembered how excited I was 2 years ago packing to go on honeymoon the hope, the joy and excitement of the holiday of a lifetime. It’s now been two years and I’m no further along on what I wanted to accomplish and that makes me sad and caught wanting.

 I miss planning and it’s been two years is that weird? I hated planning my wedding I hated the stress and the build-up but, I miss being busy and my mind being preoccupied.

I am also 29 this year the last year of my 20’s and that’s scary. Why is 30 such a big number? In the long game it’s not that old I didn’t care when I hit 25 I was happy to be far away from being a teenager (I hated being a teen does everyone?) however, 30 is scary it’s being a grown up. Will I feel like one? I certainly don’t now. Do I have to dress different being 30? Do I have to talk different? Drink wine instead of cocktails and pints of beer?

I also am thinking have I done enough fun things in my 20’s? What have I done to make my life special? Did I go to university like I wanted to? No. Did I travel the world? Not as much as I wanted.

 I did meet and marry an amazing man. I did go to Glastonbury and have an amazing time. I did go to America and France and Greece. I did learn how to apply bronzer without looking like an Umpa Lumpa (this took longer than it should).

I should look at what I have done instead of what I haven’t however, I’m in a Wednesday grump and I think it’s going to be a big task.

Netflix duvet day or housework???? 

What I did Saturday 18/04/2015

Spring has sprung here in the UK and yesterday we went on a small day trip to the seaside. 

We went to Paignton and its was a mega blustery day and freezing however, even though the weather was freezing we still dipped our toes into the sea. We took two trains to get there and spent a lot of time on the pier arcades winning tickets. Here are just a few of the pics taken.

We want to start taking a lot more day trips in the spring and summer and hope to see a lot more sights in 2015!!! 

Thanks for reading. 

The girl with the constant excuse!!!

It's the 3rd day of disturbed sleep thinking about how fat I feel!! All I have done for the past 3 days is make excuses in my head as to why I have been eating so badly recently. 

It's easter!! I think I'm due on! It's a weekend! No food in the house! I'm too tired!! I'm depressed?? Work is too busy to take a healthy snack!! 

When in truth I can't be bothered with the hard work or mustering the willpower I need to start again. I want to be one of those people who doesn't treat themselves with food but, I love food too much I love cooking it I love sitting at the table to eat it. I love being sat on the sofa in the evening with my hubby with a cup of tea and a packet of biscuits watching Netflix. 

So after this pretty turbulent night sleep worrying   about dying before my parents I weighed myself and after the initial gasp that I had broken the scales I had only but on 1lb and in a way this dosn't help the thoughts going through my head I think I was willing it to be more so I could give myself a kick up the bum to get started again. 

So I think what I need is a special revamp button that can give me back the get up and go I had in February!! Any ideas?? 

12 grumps of Christmas

I love Christmas it is the happiest time of year and my favorite time of year however, here is 12 things that turn me into Scrooge through the most festive time of year!! 

1) Secret Santas at work. You work with these people all year you talk and may even socailise however, why do I always the get fussy person. I dread it I put my hand in the bucket to pull out a name (my work do this in august mad huh?) the dread of getting that one person who only likes obscure things the hope of getting Sandra, who only ever wants her subscription of woman's own renewed and bam you get obscure employee that you only talk to onces a year to move out of the way of the photocopier. You search the internet and find a vintage something that everyone tells you he/she will love, you wrap it and give it over urging them to love it and those 5 words come out of there mouth "did you keep the receipt".

2) tropical shops. It's cold outside (or slightly chillier mild weather I live in the U.K) you have your hat, coat, scarf and gloves on and it's busy so why do shops insist on putting the heating on so high your wishing you brought your swimming costume!!! Your arms are full of gifts your in a long cue that seems to go on forever and all you can think of is the beads of sweat travelling down your back. Or if your were clever enough to take your coat off before you got in the cue it's so awkward with the purchases when you get to the check out all you can do is chuck it at the desk at a great force that you knock all the chocolate bars off the sides. 

3) the "it's to early" moaners. Yes October is probably too early to be putting your decs up and listening to Christmas songs and seeing the festive jumpers in primark but, please do not constantly complain about it!! I agree and I agree every year however can you stop telling me cause I am not going to magically stop it from happening earlier and earlier each year!! 

4) Christmas countdown apps. This is just plain and simple this countdown is the single most gut wrenching countdown it put fear into me arrrghhhhh it's only 36 days till I have to atempt to not kill my family by under cooking the turkey!!! 

5) Glitter. It's on everything! It finds it's way everywhere! And yet I can't not buy Christmas cards without it on!! 

6) Christmas cards. I love getting them I love it when I have sent them. I do not like sitting down and writing them! Trying to remember every one and always forgetting someone. I think every year I will keep this list so I don't have to do it from memory again nect year and bam I have lost it. 

7) hoards of Christmas cards. Every year I have too many and every year I tell my husband oh "I'll put these away for next year" and do I use them no! I just buy more to add to my ever growing collection!! 

8)  evelope tongue. We all get the film of a soap tasting glue on your tongue it's gross and has a lasting effect. Why don't they flavour it maybe mint or chocolate flavour?? 

9) Sellotape. I am a pretty laid back person but, I hate Sellotape. It only sticks in the wrong place other than where you want it. It bunches up and you try to straighten it and it rips the paper and sticks to you. And then you can't find the end cause it's stuck to it's self and you have to be some kind of Sellotape wizard to find it again!! 

10) being made to eat sprouts. It might just be my family but Christmas is the only time of year where these nasty little nucular gas producing beasts find there way onto my plate. Does anyone actually like them?? They taste as bad as the gas they produce and being an adult hiding them in my discarded crackers just isn't fooling anybody!  

11) do not eat!! We have a rule in our house no Christmas food before Christmas Eve and the house is full of goodies and your watching Christmas films and all you want is a mince pie and nooooo it's not Christmas yet!! 

12) Christmas Eve adverts. You have battled the shops, written hoards of cards, wrapped all your gifts, food shopping and food prep. Your sat down at 5/6pm and start eating your mince pies settled to watch a Christmas films and the adverts are all magazine subscriptions and January sales!! The last thing on my mind is more shopping. Yes I understand how advertising work however, can you just have some Christmas adverts or no adverts at all so I can keep this festive mood just a little longer before I'm made to forget it all!! 

September Plans and Autumn cleaning

With September being well under way now I just want to write about some of our plans for the next month as its going to be a busy one!!!

The first that’s happening is my husband is turning 33 (he might be turning 33 but he’s a 10 year old at heart) and this weekend we had a small Dr Who themed party with decorations, blow up Darlek and a tardis coloured cake. Me and my brother have also been researching Doctor who foods mentioned in the show and we want to see how much of a geek he is and how many he can say from which Dr these are going to include marshmallow adipose, jelly babies, fish fingers and custard, jammie dodgers and celery.

His birthday isn’t until the 11^th however all he wants to is relax for the day so the day I have planned breakfast in bed, calming bath, foot rub, movies and his favourite meal Lasagne. He also wants to go out for a meal so I think we will do that on the 12^th a nice excuse to dress up and be fancy.

We also have a wedding this month Riches mum is getting remarried on the 13^th of this month so we are currently in search for an outfit mode. The last time I saw riches family was our wedding and I looked a lot thinner so am slightly worried about being the fattest person there.  I have two choices of dresses a lacy coral dress and a blue and white 1950’s style a line dress both from Asos.  I brought the coral dress last spring and love it but never worn it because I feel too lumpy in it and I like the other dress but I’m not sure if it’s smart enough for a wedding.  I also have no shoes or accessories I’m thinking of wearing nude flats and a pashmina or smart jacket with some simple gold jewellery.

This month we welcome Autumn and I can’t wait spicy apple candles, colder weather and a chance to give my wardrobe and house a sort.  Although I am not a cleaner I do love a good sort and I have planned the last two weekends dedicated to having a sort through our bedroom, living room and kitchen. 

In the bedroom I like to pack away all the summer clothes and crack out the cute hats and woollen cardigans/jumpers and riches hoodies. I always buy myself new Pj’s and put on a more autumnal duvet set and really get the bedroom ready for cosiness all the while doing a general declutter of unwanted clothes and general odd and ends to take to a charity shop.

The living room is going to have a bit of a small makeover.  We are inheriting some new sofas and a new T.V when my dad moves house, so we want to clear a lot of the clutter and repaint a wall between getting rid of the old and collecting the new.   We decorated this room last year so all it needs is a small freshen up.

Then there’s the kitchen (await the rambley rant)I hate our kitchen and when I say I hate my kitchen I don’t mean just a little of the kitchen I mean the whole of the kitchen from the horrible green walls and tiles to the lino that never looks clean to the cupboards that everything falls out of.  If we owned the flat I would rip it all out and re-plaster the walls and completely start again however, we only rent and don’t plan on living here forever so we are stuck with the cupboards and lino.  I can do something I can paint it but I am conflicted do we want to pay out to paint it when were only planning on living there a little longer?  We have decided that it needs a clear out we have so much junk in our kitchen that the plan is to condense it to make it a little more manageable while we decide if we’re going to paint it or not.

So after the parties and cleaning and work we also want to have a couple of walks catch the last early evenings of summer ready for it getting cooler.